Lived my life at 18

I’ve lived my life,
at eighteen.
In my head
it’s so pristine:
to conquer
soulfully, personally
and be dead.
Not to concur,
unwillingly yet relentlessly,
to that which is said.

To listen,
listen to the natural-
elements of the world.
This empty heart’s only filled
through the desirable elegance of a girl.
This impassioned mind is
practically killed.
My care and love is
impassively spilled.

To act,
act on the corruption I see.
The corruption nobody seems to see,
but me.
Me,
the man
the boy
the hero
the villain,
jaded from this imperfect world.

No promise I can make
that I can keep,
hold back my poetic compromises.
I’m in too deep
for I think too deep
and I’ll write too deep
until the reaper does reap.

Lived my life at 18

I’ve lived my life,
at eighteen.
In my head
it’s so pristine:
to conquer
soulfully, personally
and be dead.
Not to concur,
unwillingly yet relentlessly,
to that which is said.

To listen,
listen to the natural-
elements of the world.
This empty heart’s only filled
through the desirable elegance of a girl.
This impassioned mind is
practically killed.
My care and love is
impassively spilled.

To act,
act on the corruption I see.
The corruption nobody seems to see,
but me.
Me,
the man
the boy
the hero
the villain,
jaded from this imperfect world.

No promise I can make
that I can keep,
hold back my poetic compromises.
I’m in too deep
for I think too deep
and I’ll write too deep
until the reaper does reap.

I'd try...

I’d try write you a poem,
to express the effects of your ways.
But no words or letters here or far
could touch upon your gaze.
No metaphor could describe the love
you knowingly impart.
Lucky am I to be subjected to
the warmth left in your heart.
Gracious is your patient nature,
and through my eyes I see,
that granted wish from heavens above
was gifted onto me.

Again

Again, I’m in two minds.
A glance
that turned my world around.
A chance
for change that’s so profound.

Again, I’m in two minds.
My heart
bleeds a familiar sore.
My art
explains what sparks my core.

Again, I’m in two hearts.
One does belong
to the world and each ear spared.
One does hold on
to the soul, with my highlights, I shared.

Again, I’m in two hearts.
One becomes known
in the variable longing.
One became whole
from the beauty I’m wronging.

Again, I desire:
everything.